I've been a slacker. I went out of town and didn't feel like typing blog posts on my phone. I suppose I should also say that I fell off the diet wagon in my time away. And by "fell off," I mean I jumped of the wagon high-dive board into a ginormous vat of queso, beer, Subway (although somewhat healthy), chicken nuggets, Milk shakes and Red Robin's A1 bacon cheeseburger and fries. Although... Guess what? I only gained 3 pounds from all that. Suck it diet! I've already lost 2 of the lbs as well, so we are back in business.
It all started when I was driving up to see my good friend in Tulsa. I was doing good with my protein bars until I needed to stop to stretch my legs. Well, sh*t... I'm stopped... I might as well eat something. BUT NO!! I didn't.. I forced myself back into the car and tore open a bag of, what we will call "corn sh*ts" Supposed to be like corn chips, but tasted like sh*t.. You picking up what I'm laying down? I made 4 valiant attempts to eat the corn sh*ts. Then.. My inner me fought back.. It said "F*CK THAT! DUMASS!.. JUST GET SOME REAL FOOD!" Then my inner me yanked the wheel and pulled into the McExit. A McDonald's bridge on top of the highway. Its literally a McExit. So, I got a 10 piece chicken nugget. No sauce, fries or soda. I'm proud I resisted that much. Then off I went.
Then....I got to my buddy's house. My wife called ahead to tell them I can't eat anything... She actually got them to grill me a turkey burger. But being the good friend that he is, he at least covered it in cheese without my knowledge. I couldn't say no.. That would be rude.
Day 2.. The real adventures in "fat kid" began. I started off good enough eating what I brought.. I did have one healthy subway sandwich. Cold cut on wheat with mustard. But then the "What should we do for dinner?" question popped up. "Whatever you guys want, I'll just get something healthy there." So, MEXICAN it was.. touche. There is nothing healthy at a Mexican Place. Inventor of the 3000 calorie taco salads. Unconsciously I ordered a beer. Not realizing the downward spiral I was headed for. I totally forgot that after beer touches my lips I forget about things like "diets" and what your "inside voice" is. I went at the queso, salsa and chips like a crazed spider monkey in heat. After a bowl of salsa or two.... The waitress came around to take our order. "What would you like?" "I WANT CHICKEN FLAUTAS WITH QUESO! I don't know what those are, but they sound good!!!.. Oh.. I also need more beer." Follow that up with more queso to go with my queso with some additional beer.. I do think there was grilled chicken somewhere in the pool of queso. So, I'm going to give myself 10 points for that. Then off we went to gamble at the casino and of course drink more beer...maybe some vodka.. I was up a hundred bucks or so and decided betting it all on black was a good idea....It wasn't. TO THE ATM! Then off we went to Buffalo Wild Wings to have a beer or two and watch some basketball. Then... I think we ended up at one other place that required another ATM visit. Its too hazy to remember the details, but I know it was fun.
So.. The next day I crawl out of bed, pack up and head back on the road stopping for Subway one more time.
I get home and have to do the walk of shame and lay out everything I've eaten to my wife and I look at the ground. Unknown to me, she was already quite aware of my "night out" My buddy and his wife were shooting pics and video of me throughout the night and sending it to her...Thanks a-holes.
More good news though. My wife decided that I completely blew my diet and it was no use unless I wanted to start over again completely on Monday. I agreed. She then made me go buy us Milk shakes and go out to Red Robin to celebrate my weekend off from the Diet.
Best Weekend Ever
Diet
Lost 17 lbs.
Gained 3 lbs. back
Today: Lost 2 lbs.
TOTALLY WORTH IT!
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