Mrs. Fields....You suck.

No, I'm not talking about the sweet old lady across the street that spends an abnormal amount of timing in her front lawn picking up the leaves as the fall from the tree. I'm talking about the Mrs. Fields that claim they can make cookies. www.mrsfields.com .

It started the day before my daughters birthday party when my wife says, "Hey you sexy stud of a beef God, (that's her nickname for me) would you draw a unicorn for me to put on our daughters birthday cake cookie? I'm going to Mrs. F-tards in an hour and need one for the cake." To which I replied, WHAT? An hour.. How do I make a great masterpiece of a unicorn in an hour? I'm going to have to do at least 3 thumbnails to even think about which direction I want to take this unicorn. Not to mention final inking and coloring. ONE HOUR?, EFF-THAT! After my wife severely beat me for that outburst, I had 10 minutes remaining after I got up the nerve to stop crying and crawl out of the fetal position. 5 minutes later I had this masterpiece.

Sassy, yet elegant in my opinion.. Something a 4 year old could really appreciate. OR if they don't, wtf do they know, they are 4 years old. So, I proudly give this to my lovely wife to take to the cookie gods of Mrs. Fields. Can you guys put this on the cake, she asked? SURE... No problem. They said.. What they really meant was.. "uh duh duh, I got a wooden spoon, uh duh duh."

So. She dropped it off and it was my duty to pick it up that night before they closed. I go up there to pick it up. "Are you here for the uh.. unicorn cookie?" Uh... Yea.. Why do you say it like that? They bring it over like they killed my goldfish and hid it in the box. They opened it up and showed me their interpretation of my unicorn. See below.

WTF IS THAT? Does this work? She asked? The party is tomorrow morning, I guess its going to have to work, I said. What. the. hell. is that even supposed to be? Why does it have 3 ears. What the hell did they do to my beautiful creation?

So, I did what any proud artist would do when their creation has been mutilated. As soon as I got home, I tried to cut its face off. After my wife wrestled me to the ground and took the knife away, I calmed down a little. 

The next day we went to the party and I was terrified of all the 4 year olds sitting around my cake saying, what is that supposed to be. Luckily it was precut for them and they never had the chance to see it. 

As for Mrs. Fields. You suck.. And that's putting it nicely.