Ok.. I've actually been busy working. WHO KNEW!??? So.. Haven't really done much else exciting. Been sticking with the diet for the most part. Instead of grilled chicken yesterday, I had 3 chicken strips. BWAH-HAHAHAHA. THEY WERE AMAZING! Real food tastes amazing when all you eat is grilled chicken, vegetables and protein bars. Don't tell my wife though.
I'm still holding at 24 lbs. Still have 6 to go.
I'm starting metabolic adjustments today.. Apparently that means I eat more food. WOOT! Had two scrambles eggs and some toast with jelly for breakfast. I've been told to put a little more ranch and chicken on my salad at lunch. For the next several days I up my food intake gradually and see if I can maintain my current weight. After 8 days, I try for those 6 more lbs. I can almost see that Dorito Locos taco in the near future.
I played sand volleyball yesterday and couldn't imagine how bad I would have sucked if I had been playing with 24 extra pounds. I already ran into the net LIKE A BOSS once. I probably would have taken the whole thing out if I had a little more weight. I spiked the sh*t out of the ball though.. Although I was told that it doesn't count when you hit the net. BULLSH*T! They be jealous of my monster abilities. I was also told by a girl on my team that she was surprised I could dip down so low (on a different badass hit I made). I made her aware that I could "dip it, whip it, smack it & whack it." All while making the appropriate spanking motion with my hands. She asked me to kindly never to that again.. She's not the boss of me. It will most DEFINITELY happen again.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Lindora Diet from a man's view day 25-26
Only a couple days left to go. I'll be done with this hard-core portion of the diet. Then I've been told I need to do a "metabolic adjustment".... Not sure sure what that means. I think It means I just try to figure out what I can eat and still maintain my weight loss. Although, I still need to drop 8 lbs.
This weekend my wife wanted to take the kids for a walk around the lake. I'd come to find out by "walk," she meant "speed walk/try to outwalk me/extreme stroller marathon of death." After fully pissing her off after telling her "I'm not jogging or running... Running is for suckas." She still tried to make me do quick bursts of light jogging. I let her jog ahead of me and then wait for me to catch up. I don't jog.. I don't believe in it. being 6' 4" I tired my knees out a LONG time ago and am firmly trying to save them for my old age. "NOT DOING IT!" I said firmly.. So, she tried to trick me into running by walking at a stupid fast pace. I now have a huge blister from walking like a 65 year old woman's speed walker group at the mall. and weird pains in weird places. Then we followed it up by chasing two kids around a swimming pool the rest of the afternoon.
Haven't lost any more weight. Still holding at 22 lbs.
This weekend my wife wanted to take the kids for a walk around the lake. I'd come to find out by "walk," she meant "speed walk/try to outwalk me/extreme stroller marathon of death." After fully pissing her off after telling her "I'm not jogging or running... Running is for suckas." She still tried to make me do quick bursts of light jogging. I let her jog ahead of me and then wait for me to catch up. I don't jog.. I don't believe in it. being 6' 4" I tired my knees out a LONG time ago and am firmly trying to save them for my old age. "NOT DOING IT!" I said firmly.. So, she tried to trick me into running by walking at a stupid fast pace. I now have a huge blister from walking like a 65 year old woman's speed walker group at the mall. and weird pains in weird places. Then we followed it up by chasing two kids around a swimming pool the rest of the afternoon.
Haven't lost any more weight. Still holding at 22 lbs.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Lindora Diet from a man's view day 24
Day 24. I'm getting more used to eating good food and drinking water instead of soda.
My pants have gotten noticeably baggie. When I sit down I get this huge bulge in my crotch... More so than normal.
But seriously... I do need new pants. My wife tells me we are throwing away all the fat-guy clothes so I don't feel like its ok to earn back the weight since I already have the clothes for it. I disagree with this technique. First of all, I'm offended at the fact that she refers to them as "fat-clothes." I was never fat.. Just skinnilly challenged. Secondly. I would like the option to still have clothing if I do indeed gain some weight back. So There!
total weight loss: 21 lbs. fo shizzle
9 more lbs to go.
My pants have gotten noticeably baggie. When I sit down I get this huge bulge in my crotch... More so than normal.
total weight loss: 21 lbs. fo shizzle
9 more lbs to go.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Lindora Diet from a man's view day 23
"F*cktards"
This diet has been going well. I find my only problems have been with the people around me. I've noticed without a delicious soda to silence the voices in my head its insanely harder to tolerate the morons. It doesn't help that there are so many of them.
Not that I don't love holding people's hands and explaining how to do their jobs, because the concept of having to do sh*t never passed their minds when they applied to work here. But its just so much harder to endure when I can't indulge in something I don't absolutely hate.
I have to give myself credit though. So far today, I've only called one person a complete idiot to their face. Not bad. I'll allow it. I also withstood the urge to start answering my phone with "ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME? WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW!?" That alone would have been worth a soda back in the day.
Oh yea.. The diet.. No weight loss today. Off the 3 days of protein. Ate a salad for lunch. YEE-HAW!
Still down 20 lbs. and looking fantastic.
This diet has been going well. I find my only problems have been with the people around me. I've noticed without a delicious soda to silence the voices in my head its insanely harder to tolerate the morons. It doesn't help that there are so many of them.
Not that I don't love holding people's hands and explaining how to do their jobs, because the concept of having to do sh*t never passed their minds when they applied to work here. But its just so much harder to endure when I can't indulge in something I don't absolutely hate.
I have to give myself credit though. So far today, I've only called one person a complete idiot to their face. Not bad. I'll allow it. I also withstood the urge to start answering my phone with "ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME? WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW!?" That alone would have been worth a soda back in the day.
Oh yea.. The diet.. No weight loss today. Off the 3 days of protein. Ate a salad for lunch. YEE-HAW!
Still down 20 lbs. and looking fantastic.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Lindora Diet from a man's view day 22
I have officially lost 20lbs. After restarting the 3 day protein only portion of my diet after going a little overboard last weekend, I'm down 20lbs. Today is the last of my 3 protein days. Then back to normal diet eating.. And all I can think of is this:
The Doritos Locos Taco
Its 9:30am and I've already pasted on breakfast sandwiches and beer. It might be a long day. Hold in there Doritos Locos. We will be together.....Some day.
Down 20 lbs.
The Doritos Locos Taco
Its 9:30am and I've already pasted on breakfast sandwiches and beer. It might be a long day. Hold in there Doritos Locos. We will be together.....Some day.
Down 20 lbs.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Lindora Diet from a man's view day 16-21
"CANNON BALL!"
I've been a slacker. I went out of town and didn't feel like typing blog posts on my phone. I suppose I should also say that I fell off the diet wagon in my time away. And by "fell off," I mean I jumped of the wagon high-dive board into a ginormous vat of queso, beer, Subway (although somewhat healthy), chicken nuggets, Milk shakes and Red Robin's A1 bacon cheeseburger and fries. Although... Guess what? I only gained 3 pounds from all that. Suck it diet! I've already lost 2 of the lbs as well, so we are back in business.
It all started when I was driving up to see my good friend in Tulsa. I was doing good with my protein bars until I needed to stop to stretch my legs. Well, sh*t... I'm stopped... I might as well eat something. BUT NO!! I didn't.. I forced myself back into the car and tore open a bag of, what we will call "corn sh*ts" Supposed to be like corn chips, but tasted like sh*t.. You picking up what I'm laying down? I made 4 valiant attempts to eat the corn sh*ts. Then.. My inner me fought back.. It said "F*CK THAT! DUMASS!.. JUST GET SOME REAL FOOD!" Then my inner me yanked the wheel and pulled into the McExit. A McDonald's bridge on top of the highway. Its literally a McExit. So, I got a 10 piece chicken nugget. No sauce, fries or soda. I'm proud I resisted that much. Then off I went.
Then....I got to my buddy's house. My wife called ahead to tell them I can't eat anything... She actually got them to grill me a turkey burger. But being the good friend that he is, he at least covered it in cheese without my knowledge. I couldn't say no.. That would be rude.
Day 2.. The real adventures in "fat kid" began. I started off good enough eating what I brought.. I did have one healthy subway sandwich. Cold cut on wheat with mustard. But then the "What should we do for dinner?" question popped up. "Whatever you guys want, I'll just get something healthy there." So, MEXICAN it was.. touche. There is nothing healthy at a Mexican Place. Inventor of the 3000 calorie taco salads. Unconsciously I ordered a beer. Not realizing the downward spiral I was headed for. I totally forgot that after beer touches my lips I forget about things like "diets" and what your "inside voice" is. I went at the queso, salsa and chips like a crazed spider monkey in heat. After a bowl of salsa or two.... The waitress came around to take our order. "What would you like?" "I WANT CHICKEN FLAUTAS WITH QUESO! I don't know what those are, but they sound good!!!.. Oh.. I also need more beer." Follow that up with more queso to go with my queso with some additional beer.. I do think there was grilled chicken somewhere in the pool of queso. So, I'm going to give myself 10 points for that. Then off we went to gamble at the casino and of course drink more beer...maybe some vodka.. I was up a hundred bucks or so and decided betting it all on black was a good idea....It wasn't. TO THE ATM! Then off we went to Buffalo Wild Wings to have a beer or two and watch some basketball. Then... I think we ended up at one other place that required another ATM visit. Its too hazy to remember the details, but I know it was fun.
So.. The next day I crawl out of bed, pack up and head back on the road stopping for Subway one more time.
I get home and have to do the walk of shame and lay out everything I've eaten to my wife and I look at the ground. Unknown to me, she was already quite aware of my "night out" My buddy and his wife were shooting pics and video of me throughout the night and sending it to her...Thanks a-holes.
More good news though. My wife decided that I completely blew my diet and it was no use unless I wanted to start over again completely on Monday. I agreed. She then made me go buy us Milk shakes and go out to Red Robin to celebrate my weekend off from the Diet.
Best Weekend Ever
Diet
Lost 17 lbs.
Gained 3 lbs. back
Today: Lost 2 lbs.
TOTALLY WORTH IT!
I've been a slacker. I went out of town and didn't feel like typing blog posts on my phone. I suppose I should also say that I fell off the diet wagon in my time away. And by "fell off," I mean I jumped of the wagon high-dive board into a ginormous vat of queso, beer, Subway (although somewhat healthy), chicken nuggets, Milk shakes and Red Robin's A1 bacon cheeseburger and fries. Although... Guess what? I only gained 3 pounds from all that. Suck it diet! I've already lost 2 of the lbs as well, so we are back in business.
It all started when I was driving up to see my good friend in Tulsa. I was doing good with my protein bars until I needed to stop to stretch my legs. Well, sh*t... I'm stopped... I might as well eat something. BUT NO!! I didn't.. I forced myself back into the car and tore open a bag of, what we will call "corn sh*ts" Supposed to be like corn chips, but tasted like sh*t.. You picking up what I'm laying down? I made 4 valiant attempts to eat the corn sh*ts. Then.. My inner me fought back.. It said "F*CK THAT! DUMASS!.. JUST GET SOME REAL FOOD!" Then my inner me yanked the wheel and pulled into the McExit. A McDonald's bridge on top of the highway. Its literally a McExit. So, I got a 10 piece chicken nugget. No sauce, fries or soda. I'm proud I resisted that much. Then off I went.
Then....I got to my buddy's house. My wife called ahead to tell them I can't eat anything... She actually got them to grill me a turkey burger. But being the good friend that he is, he at least covered it in cheese without my knowledge. I couldn't say no.. That would be rude.
Day 2.. The real adventures in "fat kid" began. I started off good enough eating what I brought.. I did have one healthy subway sandwich. Cold cut on wheat with mustard. But then the "What should we do for dinner?" question popped up. "Whatever you guys want, I'll just get something healthy there." So, MEXICAN it was.. touche. There is nothing healthy at a Mexican Place. Inventor of the 3000 calorie taco salads. Unconsciously I ordered a beer. Not realizing the downward spiral I was headed for. I totally forgot that after beer touches my lips I forget about things like "diets" and what your "inside voice" is. I went at the queso, salsa and chips like a crazed spider monkey in heat. After a bowl of salsa or two.... The waitress came around to take our order. "What would you like?" "I WANT CHICKEN FLAUTAS WITH QUESO! I don't know what those are, but they sound good!!!.. Oh.. I also need more beer." Follow that up with more queso to go with my queso with some additional beer.. I do think there was grilled chicken somewhere in the pool of queso. So, I'm going to give myself 10 points for that. Then off we went to gamble at the casino and of course drink more beer...maybe some vodka.. I was up a hundred bucks or so and decided betting it all on black was a good idea....It wasn't. TO THE ATM! Then off we went to Buffalo Wild Wings to have a beer or two and watch some basketball. Then... I think we ended up at one other place that required another ATM visit. Its too hazy to remember the details, but I know it was fun.
So.. The next day I crawl out of bed, pack up and head back on the road stopping for Subway one more time.
I get home and have to do the walk of shame and lay out everything I've eaten to my wife and I look at the ground. Unknown to me, she was already quite aware of my "night out" My buddy and his wife were shooting pics and video of me throughout the night and sending it to her...Thanks a-holes.
More good news though. My wife decided that I completely blew my diet and it was no use unless I wanted to start over again completely on Monday. I agreed. She then made me go buy us Milk shakes and go out to Red Robin to celebrate my weekend off from the Diet.
Best Weekend Ever
Diet
Lost 17 lbs.
Gained 3 lbs. back
Today: Lost 2 lbs.
TOTALLY WORTH IT!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Lindora Diet from a man's view day 15
"War of the zucchini"
I started drawing a picture of zucchinis fighting each other and though it was a little too suggestive, so I decided against it.
Last night, my wife decided to "be adventurous" as she calls it and try something new from a vegetarian website. Her first mistake was telling me it was from a vegetarian website. Her second mistake was making it out of zucchini. Even as I told her I wouldn't try it, she insisted that I would and it would be delicious. She roasted it in garlic and herbs and to give her credit, if it was anything other than zucchini, it probably would have been delicious. But it wasn't something else......It was zucchini. Nature's retarded cucumber cousin. So.. Knowing full on how terrible zucchinis were, I waited for Beth to take the first bite......."Well....it is spicy" she says. "AND???? How is the taste?" I reply. "Not good." She murmurs.
VICTORY! That's an automatic "I don't have to try it anymore" freebie! WOO-HOO.
As of today.. No weight loss. holding at 17 lbs lost. hmmm. Maybe its the flavored water I've been drinking. Tomorrow is our weekly "Protein Day," Where I am forced to eat chicken all day. Not looking forward to that.
I started drawing a picture of zucchinis fighting each other and though it was a little too suggestive, so I decided against it.
Last night, my wife decided to "be adventurous" as she calls it and try something new from a vegetarian website. Her first mistake was telling me it was from a vegetarian website. Her second mistake was making it out of zucchini. Even as I told her I wouldn't try it, she insisted that I would and it would be delicious. She roasted it in garlic and herbs and to give her credit, if it was anything other than zucchini, it probably would have been delicious. But it wasn't something else......It was zucchini. Nature's retarded cucumber cousin. So.. Knowing full on how terrible zucchinis were, I waited for Beth to take the first bite......."Well....it is spicy" she says. "AND???? How is the taste?" I reply. "Not good." She murmurs.
VICTORY! That's an automatic "I don't have to try it anymore" freebie! WOO-HOO.
As of today.. No weight loss. holding at 17 lbs lost. hmmm. Maybe its the flavored water I've been drinking. Tomorrow is our weekly "Protein Day," Where I am forced to eat chicken all day. Not looking forward to that.
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