Lindora Diet from a man's view day 1 PART 2

So its my first day of this diet, but several days of giving up soda. Beautiful caffeinated soda. The only really happiness in my otherwise sh*t filled day. So.. Its almost 3 o'clock and I'm fighting off the urge to reply to emails with "Dear f*cktard". I don't know if everyone is particularly deserving of a good face punch today or if its the diet absorbing every last ounce of my inner, more understanding/tolerant self. This diet is officially stupid and I hate everyone. So..so far, we are off to a fantastic start. WOOHOO.. Oh.. My wife actually informed me at lunch this is still technically a "cleansing day" and the real sh*t starts tomorrow. FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! Someone please hide the sharp objects. MORE TO COME...